It is GORGEOUS outside today!   I bought my jeep finally on Tuesday and took the top off today and I can't seem to quit wasting gas!!  Going to the park in a few!

neverbreak

As my 24th birthday is rearing its semi-ugly face around the very near corner, I am faced with some life choices.  I know that the job I am currently in is not nearly close to what I want to do with the rest of my life, but I feel stuck.  I spend close to an hour if not more daily submitting my resume and searching for jobs, but alas, nothing works out.  I've had interviews and offers but none have been what I want.  But, what is it I want to do for the rest of my life?  I honestly have NO clue and it's starting to freak me out.  I remember being 7 and thinking that I wanted to be a dancer for my whole life- obviously that wasn't going to work out.  Then I thought when I was nine that I would be a zookeeper- I even wrote a poem about it that won out of my whole class.  Needless to say, that didn't quite pan out.  When I was a teenager I thought that I would be some high-powered PR guru and work at a fabulous company in some urban city surrounded by posh friends and live in an awesome high rise with a fabulous boyfriend.  Then when I got to college, I realized that PR was not the way that I wanted to go.  Marketing seemed more gratifying to me, so I got a bachelors in that field.  Which leads me to now, possessor of a marketing degree, working as an assistant manager at a restaurant.  I just feel stuck.  For the past three years or so I have toyed with the idea of law school, however my car loans/student loans/and credit card bills will not allow me to go at this time.  By the time I have paid off my car and credit card bills I will be 26+ and will feel a little silly going back to school.  There's the option of getting my MBA but nowadays an MBA is no better than a bachelors.  I wish that I could have been one of those people who knew from the time that they were walking what they wanted to do with their lives.  I have friends in med school who say that since they could talk they've wanted to be a doctor.  Being a doctor is probably one of the last jobs on this planet that I could have seeing as though I faint/puke/feel terribly sick at the sight of blood, guts, vomit, cuts, broken bones, the list goes on.  Nurse is out of the question for the same reason.  I don't have the patience to be a teacher, I don't even really like kids.  I love to cook but am not good enough or creative enough to have my own restaurant.  I coach a middle school dance team which I absolutely adore but that isn't really leading anywhere.  So, this leads me to my current conundrum.  WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH THE REST OF MY LIFE???!!!

I have been working on myself recently.  Exercising more, caring more about the way I come across to others, trying to think about what I say before actually saying it, but I still haven't found that "one thing" that stands out to me, as far as my life and career go.  I know that some people are middle aged and don't know what they want to do with themselves, and I sympathize with them, but I am ready and willing to get my calling, so to say.  I can't really complain about my life.  True, I am still living at home, but I love my mom and sister and can't imagine life without them in it.  I have a decent job which pays more than 90% of my friends who have their graduate degrees.  I have an amazing dog who brings joy into my every day just by being her crazy and neurotic self.  I am healthy and alive and I have a great set of friends.  I just feel like something is missing.  What that is, I am still searching for.  I will let you know when I figure it out.

K.